Hawkeye's birthday
by Rizalicious
Summary: Totally Random im just bored rated for language
1. Cha cha slide

Sarah: Hope you enjoy this fic. 

It was Riza's birthday and her office decided to through a party with Maes, Lt. Ross and Winry.  
"Ok, ssssuuuussshhhhhh shes coming." Roy Hissed. Hawkeye walked in and turned on the light to the office. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAWKEYE!!!!!" Everyone yelled. She smiled. "So how long is this party" "All day Hawkeye babe." Roy said. She just looked at him thinking 'did he just call me babe?' "So what's the plan Mustang?" "Karaoke, After we dance to the cha cha slide."

_Cue music_

_To the left, take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time, right foot let's stomp  
Left foot let's stomp, Cha Cha real smooth_

Mustang walked over to Riza for this song so she might grind on him. (perv)

_Turn it down, to the left Take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time, right foot let's stomp  
Left foot let's stomp, Cha Cha now ya'll_

Riza Grabbed Mustang's hips for the next part.

_Now it's time to get funky  
To the right now, to the left Take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time, 1 hop this time  
Right foot 2 stomps, left foot 2 stomps  
Slide to the left, slide to the right  
Criscross, criscross  
Cha Cha real smooth_

Havoc and Ross were getting funky alright.

_Let's go to work To the left, take it back now ya'll  
2 hops this time, 2 hops this time  
Right foot 2 stomps, left foot 2 stomps  
Hands on your knees, hands on your knees  
Get funky with it, aahhhhhhhhhh yaaaa  
Come on, Cha Cha now ya'll_

Riza Cha cha'd all up on Roy

_Turn it down, to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
5 hops this time  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot le's stomp  
Right foot again, left foot again  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp_

Light show came on

_Freeze, Everybody Clap yo hands_

Roy and Riza jumped up and down clapping their hands.

_Come on ya'll, check it out  
How low can you go?  
Can you go down low?  
All the way to da floor? _

Riza moved up and down Roy like he was a pole.

_How low can you go?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
Like it never never stop?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
1 hop, right foot now  
Left foot now ya'll  
Cha Cha real smooth_

Ross and Havoc left for the other office.

_Turn it down, to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time,1 hop this time  
Reverse, Reverse  
Slide to the left, slide to the right  
Reverse Reverse, reverse reverse  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Cha Cha again  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Cha Cha again  
Turn it down_

Hawkeye got rid of her jacket

_To the left, that it back now ya'll  
2 hops 2 hops,  
2 hops 2 hops  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp  
Charlie Brown, hop it out now  
Slide to the right, slide to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
Cha Cha now ya'll_

_Turn it down  
To the left, take it back now ya'll  
3 hops this time  
Right foot now, left foot now ya'll  
Cha Cha it out  
Turn it down_

Roy turned Riza and grinded against her.

_To the right, to the right ya'll  
To the left, take it back now ya'll  
4 hops this time  
Right foot now now ya'll, left foot now ya'll  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Cha Cha again,  
Cha Cha again_

_Turn it down Take it back now ya'll  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp  
6 hops this time  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp  
Right foot 2 stomps,  
Left foot 2 stomps  
Criscross, Criscross  
Slide to the left,  
Slide to the right  
Let me hear you clap yo hands  
Cha Cha now, Cha Cha again_

Some how Maes joined Riza and Roy. (dont ask)

_Turn it down  
To the left,  
take it back now ya'll  
2 hops 2 hops,  
2 hops 2 hops  
Right foot 2 stomps,  
left foot 2 stomps  
Hands on your knees,  
hands on your knees  
Aahhhh yaaaa,  
get funky with it  
Get down now ya'll,  
Come on, come on  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Let's go to work_

"All Right next is Karaoke people" Maes said

RxR


	2. Roy Likes Riza's Butt

(Ross and Winry) 

Ross: Oh my god Winry, look at her butt

Winry: Its so big She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends

Ross: Who understands those rap guys They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute

Winry: I mean her butt It's just so big I can't believe it's so round It's just out there I mean, it's gross Look, she's just so Rizaish

(Roy)  
I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung (does humping type movement with his hips and hands)  
Wanna pull up tough  
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring (Smacks Rizas ass)  
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But that butt you got

(Maes: Make Me so horney)

Ooh, rump of smooth skin  
You say you wanna get in my benz  
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

Riza Starts dancing in a sexual way.

I've seen them dancin'  
To hell with romancin'  
She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines  
Saying flat butts are the thing  
Take the average military man and ask him that  
She gotta pack much butt

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)  
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)  
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back

(military face with ishbalen booty)

I like'em round and big  
And when I'm throwin a gig  
I just can't help myself I'm actin like an animal  
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home  
And UH, double up UH UH (more humping movements only on Riza this time)  
I aint talkin bout playboy  
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys  
I wannem real thick and juicy  
So find that juicy double Roysohot's in trouble  
Beggin for a piece of that bubble  
So I'm lookin' at rock videos  
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes  
You can have them bimbos  
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo  
A word to the thick soul sistas  
I wanna get with ya  
I won't cus or hit ya  
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (Riza: Moans)  
Til the break of dawn  
Baby Got it goin on  
Alot of pimps won't like this song  
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it  
But I'd rather stay and play  
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong  
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)  
Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)  
Then turn around Stick it out  
Even white boys got to shout  
Baby got back

(military face with ishbalen booty)

Yeah baby  
When it comes to females  
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection  
36-24-36  
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Edward  
Playin workout tapes by Ross  
But Ross ain't got a motor in the back of her Edward  
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun  
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt  
Some brothers wanna play that hard role  
And tell you that the butt ain't gold  
So they toss it and leave it  
And I pull up quick to retrieve it  
So cosmo says you're fat  
Well I ain't down with that  
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin  
And I'm thinkin bout stickin  
To the beanpole dames in the magazines  
You aint it miss thing  
Give me a sista I can't resist her  
Red beans and rice did miss her  
Some knucklehead tried to dis  
Cuz his girls were on my list  
He had game but he chose to hit 'em  
And pulled up quick to get with 'em  
So ladies if the butt is round  
And you wanna triple X throw down  
Dial 1-900-ROYSSOHOT and kick them nasty thoughts  
Baby got back Baby got back  
Little in tha middle but she got much back

Riza just stared at him as she said, "I get the next one."

RxR


	3. Candyman Roy

Sarah: Hyperness  
Riza: I am Never ever wearing THAT again  
Sarah: dont own.

The Party kept going as it is now Riza's turn to sing.

Roy: "Tarzan and Jane were wingin' on a vine"  
Riza: Candyman, Candyman  
Roy: Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine  
Riza: Sweet sugar candy man (whispered)

(Riza)  
I met him out for dinner on a Friday night  
He really had me working up an appetite  
He had tattoos up and down his arm (Steps on the table)  
There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm  
He's a one stop shop, makes the panties drop  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man  
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman

Ooo yeah.. (Pulls pants off to reveal...A MINISKIRT!!)

He took me to the Spider Club at Hollywood and Vine  
We drank champagne and we danced all night  
We shook the paparazzi for a big surprise  
the gossip tonight will be tomorrow's headline

He's a one stop shop, make my cherry pop  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man  
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman

Se bop bop Hey yeah ... (Grabs Roy and dances all up on him)

He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man oh  
A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman

Woo yeah (Removes her jacket as we see a black halter.)

Well by now I'm getting all bothered and hot  
When he kissed my mouth he really hit the spot  
He had lips like sugar cane  
Good things come to boys who wait

Roy: Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine

Riza: Candy man can.  
Candy man Candy man

Roy: Sipping from a bottle of vodka double wine

Riza: Candy man, candy man

Ross: Sweet sugar candy man (whispered)  
Riza: He's a one stop, gotcha hot, making all the panties drop (dances in a circle with Lt. Ross)  
Ross: Sweet sugar candy man (whispered)  
Riza: He's a one stop, got me hot, making my uh pop  
Ross: Sweet sugar candy man (whispered)  
Riza: He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop  
Ross: Sweet sugar candy man (whispered)

He got those lips like sugar cane  
Good things come for boys who wait

He's a one stop shop with a real big (Moans)  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman  
He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candyman

Roy: Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine  
Maes and Havoc: Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine  
Roy: Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine  
Maes and Havoc: Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine  
Roy: Jane lost her grip and a-down she fell  
Maes and Havoc: Jane lost her grip and a-down she fell  
Roy: Squared herself away as she let out a yell  
Maes and Havoc: Squared herself away as she let out a yell

Roy and Riza were in a very interesting postion. Riza had pushed Roy in a chair and Roy had his hands dangerously close to the bottom of her miniskirt as her hands were around his neck. They looked at one other as they slowly closed their eyes and their lips touched.

RxR


End file.
